Pass the Cheetos

Got in today from a day spent in Tyler with the family and came and checked my email and such. As usual I looked at the head lines listed on Yahoo's front page. This story just seemed to stand out for some reason.

Tenn. couple accused of assault using Cheetos

Fri Jun 26, 3:19 pm ET

SHELBYVILLE, Tenn. – Authorities said a couple got into a fight using Cheetos. The Bedford County Sheriff's Department said a 40-year-old man and 44-year-old woman became involved in a 'verbal altercation.' Somehow, the orange puffy snacks were used in the assault.

Deputies said they were charged with domestic assault. No one was hurt.

According to the Shelbyville Times-Gazette, both posted bond of $2,500.

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Information from: Shelbyville Times-Gazette, http://www.t-g.com

That's right, they were fighting not over the Cheetos, but with the Cheetos. I feel that the line "No one was hurt" might have been a bit much. I mean I don't about you, but it seems to me that really the only way that a Cheeto is going to hurt someone (other than in the waist line perhaps) is if the "cheese" powder gets in their eye.

Imagine being the deputy called to the scene though. You get the call from dispatch that there is a domestic dispute going on so you make a beeline to the address. You get there, enter the house to the surely horrifying scene of orange dust all over everything, the couple covered in most of it, the crumpled bag that once held the snack food on the floor, its contents scattered all over the floor. And you have to call it in to dispatch.

How does that call sound do you think? "Uh, this is Unit 123. We are at the scene of that dispute you called in. Yeah, it seems they, uh, they were heatedly throwing Cheetos at each other as they were yelling....that's right, right the ones with Chester the Cheetah as the mascot....No, they're not the Puffs....those wouldn't fly as well, you're right...No, they're just the regular original style of Cheetos....yeah, we're gonna go ahead and bring them in....what do we charge them with?....Would it be with a weapon you think?....Ok, we'll be there in 20....Yeah have some wet wipes ready to clean their fingers."

As the deputy, when you show up at the door, how do you keep a straight face as the story is unfolding before you? They were arguing and it escalated to throwing Cheetos at each other. Man you know they had to be laughing on the way back to the station right? I know I would be. The sad thing is that they went to jail for all of this. Amazing. And they had to post $2500 each for bail. $5000 for what was basically a food fight with yelling. Goodness (shaking my head). Peace and Love y'all.