Fear Itself

I have one huge fear. It's kind of strange really I suppose when I think about it. As a youth minister however it is a fear that seems to make sense really. There are times when I jerk awake with this fear trying to push it's way into my waking moments. It takes a moment or two usually in fact to remember that the fear I'm feeling is nothing more than a dream.

The fear that I experience in this line of work is that of being afraid that I am supposed to be filling in for the pastor and that I have forgotten and missed the early service at the church and then I don't have anything prepared when I come rushing in late. It is something that nags at me. It gnaws at the edges of my brain at times when I wake up on Sunday mornings. It is my nightmare that lingers even when I wake. Thankfully it has been only that, and has never become an actuality.

Last week however I took it one step further than just a nagging, lingering feeling. I knew that I had responsibilities on Sunday morning in the early service with the scripture that was supposed to be done via DVD. It was something that I had done before, but for some reason this particular weekend, I was extra nervous about the set up.

I woke suddenly and looked frantically for the clock which, upon seeing and focusing on, read 8:13 AM. At this point all my fears seemed to race forward into my consciousness as I literally leaped from my nice comfortable bed, throwing my covers aside and exclaiming to Roni "CRAP!! I am supposed to be doing stuff in the early service!!" I was about to make a beeline to the bathroom in order to hurriedly brush my teeth and throw on clothes when from the bed beside me I hear the voice of my loving wife say "What are you doing? It's Saturday." At this point I immediately collapsed back onto the bed, pulled the blanket back over me and went back to sleep. Crisis averted...for now. Peace and Love y'all.